I remember that day that I found out I was pregnant. I had just eaten lunch and became sick at work. I went home and that night took a pregnancy test at my best friend's house and then I took another. Then I came home to another one sitting on the back of the toilet. Apparently, my mother had her "feelings" but I am sure there was some snooping going on.
Being pregnant was great! It gave me the license to eat because I was "eating for two" or so I thought. I feasted on McDonald's Big Macs and ice cream every day. I was gaining so much weight in between doctor visits that the doctor had begun lecturing me. They told that I was gaining too much weight and they advised me to see a nutritionist. Forget that! For that time on I made sure that I never made an appointment with that doctor again.
I did not let the doctor discourage me from my eating. Anamite's mom worked at Mrs. Fields and she would always bring stuff home. There was this one night that I found a bag of peanut butter dream bars. (For those of you doing Weight Watchers is it 35 points for 1 bar.) I ate the entire bag. I remember this day all too well because when she came home she wanted to know what happened to her bars. That was not the first time I heard that question.
That summer Anamite and I were married. I remember buying my dress a week before the wedding and it almost did not fit the day of. I continued to grow bigger and bigger. I got so big that when I went to my doctor's appointments I stopped looking at the scale. I gained around 80-100 lbs during my pregnancy. I remember the scale being around 260-280 lbs by my 9 month. My co-workers kept telling me that they have never seen a person get pregnant from head to toe. But it came with a cost. My legs swelled up and I was having trouble with high blood pressure. That December our son was born. He weighed 10 lbs 2 oz. He was born with a dislocated shoulder and low blood sugar. He is now my junk food junkie. I often wonder if there was a connection between all the junk I ate and his love for junk food.
Now I was a mom and a wife who continued to hate herself.
To Be Continued...
BRUTAL!
ReplyDeleteHi Dawn, I found you through Anamite(Mafia buddy). I know what a great struggle you have gone through. Your story sounds similar to mine. I struggled with weight my whole life. At my heaviest I was 240, and 5'3" that is HUGE!!!! I turned my life around and lost 70 pounds. I could not even imagine having to tote 70 pounds with me everyday.
ReplyDeleteCongrats and keep up the amazing work. You look fantastic.